Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp

Yesterday we went on the memorial tour of the Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp. It was a very tough day. you hear about these camps in stories and in books, but seeing the real thing, and being there has a profound impact. it is honestly indescribable the feeling you get when entering the 'welcome gates' or 'tower A' of the camp, when you know what took place here. Walking into the barracks, the prison inside the prison (very creepy), seeing torture mechanisms of things normal human beings could not fathom, the gas chamber, the incinerators, and the corpse storage room. the tour was very graphic and the guide was excellent. he was very passionate in his approach. and as traumatic and distressing the stories were, it was important to hear of them, because people should not be sheltered from the events that took place there. people need to know about it, understand what took place and never forget. we need to learn from this, appreciate and empathise, and pray that this never happens again. i was deeply moved by the whole experience, shocking and deep in every way. reading about it in books does not show these victims justice. i am honestly speechless on the event but i am deeply moved, deeply distressed, and deeply empathetic. this tour was not for people who cry at the drop of a hat, it was a tough and sorrowful day. and it was extremily hot too. i was so hungry and so hot, but being there kept me quiet. knowing that the 35,000 men who were victims there lived on torture, abuse, 1 glass of water a day, one toilet break a day, 'water soup' and worked 18 hours a day in extreme conditions, i couldn't compare. it really puts things into perspective. but despite what experiences or values I gained from this tour, i will never neglect or forget what happened there, but to remember and understand.
love my whole family beyond anything on this earth. you just can't take family for granted. those victims were stolen in the night and were never to see their family again. that is unimaginable for most.
love u all.
ashinberlin.x

Hi From Berlin!

hey everyone!

just a heads up, the keyboards in Germany are all rearranged so if i make some spelling errors, forgive me!

I am absolutely loving it here in Berlin! it is now day 2 and i have been taking it easy after the pub crawl last night. i was seriously a lot of fun. i got in to Berlin at about midnight on tuesday. my flight was delazed for 3 hours! which gave me a lot of time at the Gatwick airport but also meant i arrived in Berlin at 12am. i got there fine and the flight was onlz about 2 hours, if that. and that's probablz the reason whz it onlz cos 20 pounds!

when i walked out of the airport i thought to mzself 'hez, this is easz!' and it wasn't until i had to make mz waz from the airport to mz hostel that it proved difficult. I was unfortunate enough to run into people who didn't speak a word of english. i was luckz i had bought a german phrase book while i was waiting for mz flight. it was a real test for me! i had to construct phrases and try and communicated with people! it wasn't easz but i laughed alot! i got on the train from the airport and it just stopped half way! it was midnight so it was the last service. i had another 20 mins to go. i walked out and hailed a cab. she didn't speak any english so out came my phrase book! i did well! i kinda naturally mixed english with german... 'mitte take me mein alexanderplatz bahnhof dankeschön'...so funny! but it was all ok. cos i got to the hostel in one piece. met up with paul and emily and then went to bed! it was such a nice feeling seeing them!

the next day we got up at 10am and headed off to the free walking tour of berlin. i fell in love! with the city of course! it was just sooo amazing and if anyone comes to berlin i highly reccommend the new europe walking tours! i saw the big gates (not sure what its called) the berlin wall, the hotel where MJ stayed and dangled his baby out the window, where hitler committed suicide, saw real bullet holes in buildings, the holocaust memorial, checkpoint charlie, the senate....everywhere and it was just so fabulous. however the tour was very historical and the stories were oftentimes very distressing. but i now have a solid understanding of the 3 wars germany faced. and a full understanding of the berlin wall, east and west germany etc. highly rewarding. we're off to a concerntration camp tomorrow. i must admit i am a little nervous about it. i was distressed by the walking tour so i'm not sure how i'll go at the camp.

after we went on a pub crawl and went to 4 different bars, each very unique. the last one we went to was a bar within a warzone squatters building! its about 7 levels or so and covered in grafiti. if there was a bar like that in Melbourne they would make a packet! it was the coolest, funkiest, freakiest and most haunting bar i have ever seen! it was so amazing!

I am already having such a great time! i am loving travel so much i just dont ever want to leave! i am staying in berlin till sunday morning, then i'm off with busabout to PRAGUE! I am following Paul and Em around europe until my uni exams. then i'll hit the road again and i'm thinking i might live in a european country. The tour guide we had for the walking tour was from London, and others were from america, australia, etc and offered a range of languages. and i said to him i'd love his job, and he replied 'we're looking for people' and they have tours in many european countries such as italy, france, austria, etc. etc. so I'll see where i find myself. by the way i have run out of credit and i'm not sure how to get some so i can't reply to messages at this point.

'es ist ein schöner tag, was für ein herrliches wetter, Deutschland ist sehr schön! Dankeschön!'

ashingermany!!! x

Big Ben, Westminster, The Tube...It's London!

hey all,

just a quick one today. i'm just putting up the photos of Big Ben, Westminster and the Underground - London's train system is realllly good.

Just a description of what i've been doing, This weekend has been really chilled. Me n nik have been just relaxing. having some really nice breakfasts, massive one this morning! baken beans, bacon, eggs, toast, sausage, tomato, and a coffee for only 4 pounds. really good. and basically in between we'll watch endless hours of Family Guy. may not sound productive considering where we are (over the other side of the world!) but this week has been so emotionally exhausting that just relaxing watching family guy is really nice. it kinda brings you back to home, having the luxury of just relaxing and hanging out.

Well, off to Berlin tomorrow. i'll be sure to get some great photos!

love u all!

ashinlondon.x

Hmm...I Feel Like Going To Berlin...

Hey everyone.
just to be different, i have had a great day today! I went and saw Lynne! she looks amazing! we had a good old chat, lots of laughs, and she really helped me with the transition to London. She has been such a positive influence and has given me so much confidence and optimism. She has a beautiful daughter, and we had a lot of fun together. She lives in Ealing, such a beautiful part of london, in such a gorgeous house. its no wonder she's in love with London! Today was fantastic! she showed me alot of helpful resources for my stay in London - jobs, travel, accommodation, house share, things to do, money saving! and managed to make me book a trip to Berlin...why not? So, i'm off to Berlin on Tuesday! The flight was only 20 pounds (inclusive of tax!) so i thought, why not? I am lucky to be meeting Paul and Emily over there! I am so excited to see them. i can imagine we are going to have a great time! and I am sooo looking forward to it! I spoke to them today, and i could hear Em in the background...she was so funny - she seems very keen! So its going to be a great week!
Well, i'm feeling much better today! i have been taking care of my health. although i am down to only 59.6kg. i dont think i have been this weight since i was 7.
I'll be sure to get alot of photos of my trip to Berlin! it seems like such an amazing city! I forgot my camera today, but i said to Lynne i'll be coming over again after i get back from my European Adventure to Germany!
Love you all,
ashinlondon.x

Gotta Love Family

Hey everyone!

Well, i just got off the phone to Lynne! it was sooo great to hear her voice. i can remember when i was about 7 or 8, she was my favourite aunty! and now we have both grown up and changed so much. i am really looking forward to seeing her! it will be nice to see a familiar face. i am meeting up with her tomorrow. she has invited me to stay at her place if i need, but on top of that, within the first conversation we had on the phone (20 minutes - wow she can really talk) she was already so helpful and it was clear to me that she cared so much! i think it will be great to spend some time with her because she seems like a very positive person to look up to. I have been so sick recently but just talking to her on the phone made me feel so much better. i think my health has a lot to do with my mental and emotional state. so it has made a profound impact!

On another note, i went to piccadilly and westminster the other day. i dont remember if i have already posted a blog about this but i had such a good time i'm going to describe it again! i got my own personal tour in a cab through the west end, and managed to hit all of the great sights. Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Parliament House, Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly Circus. it was so great to see it all. because that's why you travel. to see these amazing things. they are just beautiful! and it also makes you realise where you are. you only ever think of big ben to be in the UK. and i saw it! it was a good feeling. That end of town is sooo nice and a place i aspire to.

Our living situation is still up in the air. i think we are taking a very spontaneous approach - taking it day by day. the girls are going away for a bit soon, so that's one of the reasons why we have delayed looking for a place. But i think it will make a difference where i eventually find work. You know, we could find a place around here cos that's where the girls work, but it will take me 40 mins to get to work. so i think i am going to find a job first (which lynne has given me some great tips already) and then find a place to live. i know that having a secure place to live will help my health, because i'm not in my best shape at the moment. but i have to find a job first.

me and nikki are staying at the dover castle hostel tonight. i am really looking forward to it. it will be a real 'travellers' experience. and it will be nice to be able to make myself a hot cup of coffee. i really miss that freedom. to me, it is truly a luxury and one that i will never take for granted.

amongst all that is happening at the moment, i am so overjoyed to be seeing lynne tomorrow! i cant stop thinking about it. i wish i could show her my enthusiasm, but i have been sick and i have lost my voice a bit. tomorrow is going to be a good day! i am so optimistic.

i also spoke to Paul and Emily. that was soo great too! paul was so kind and very caring. and managed to make me laugh. i had a bit of a teary just hearing their voices because it was such a comforting feeling knowing there's other people i know who are close to me. dont get me wrong, nikki and kristina are here and i truly thank them for their hospitality, but i have been an emotional wreck so hearing from family is just soo comforting. it has truly made a difference just hearing from them. Paul offered me to join them on their trip around europe. I plan to travel around europe at some stage, but i am very keen on meeting up with them where-ever they may be. i am going to make a big effort to catch up with people who i know over here, because it all just adds to the experience and creates some great stories to tell when i get back.

after speaking to paul and em, and lynne, i am very positive about work, and health, and generally living here for the short while that i had planned.

Thank you to all my family for the phone calls, emails, connections, and support. thank you so much! Also, if any one wants to send me an email, my address is ashleigh.morris@gmail.com. i would love to get an email from tom too! i got his voice message the other day and i got all emotional cos i missed his call! and its really hard for me to call people cos credit is so expensive. i miss my family so much, and it would be great to talk to tom cos he has had a very similar experience. i miss you all!

ashinlondon.x

Loving My Family, And Getting Evicted

hi family.
oh, such a nice word. family. being away makes you appreciate family so much. its not that you dont appreciate family when your with them, but being away makes u realise how lucky you are.
To my mum and dad, thank you so much for the hotel. i felt so bad for booking it, but now having done so, i feel soooooo much better knowing i have a big, nice warm bed to go to! i am already feeling better! i cant wait to shower! ahhhhh! so nice. so i truly thank you soooo much. i will repay you by being the best daughter i can be! at this point that's all i can offer!
I have done well with my money! i haven't touched my bank account. only the cash i had when i first arrived. and i still have over 250 pounds. so go me!

This is our flat at the moment: so i guess its not such a bad thing we're getting evicted. Yes, we are getting evicted! found out yesterday. so its gonna be a mad rush trying to find a place to live within the next week. we have a week to go. but there's a room above where kris works which could work for us. we have the function room above kris's work, which we can have rent free, but it comes with its downs. ie. no beds, couches only, which i can see many problems with, and we have to be packed and out when there's parties on - usually strippers. so that's a tad gross. but we'll find soemthing. at least if we have to, we can have the function room rent free for a while. but the room above that is only 70 pounds a week, so split between us, its dirt cheap. and its really cosy and warm and the staff here are great! and i'm always getting free meals and coffee...so it can't be bad! i think it may be a problem tho when jess and lucy get here. a bit of a squeeze!
Well, i have been in london for nearly a week now. and its unfortunate i haven't had a chance to go see everything. nik and kris are working a lot and i'm still sick. but after my lovely stay at the hilton, next week looks bright. besides, i have another 6 odd months (i mean, err, 2 weeks dad!).
So no real updates at this point, but i hope to show you all some great stuff by next week when i don't feel like i have a pile of bricks in my lungs and head.
Just thought i'd add a 'me in london' photo, for those who dont have access to my myspace for the rest of them.

love you all,
ashinlondon. x

Having a Ball!!!

Hey guys,
well i noticed that my last blog was a little hard on my living situation. I am having a great time. i really am. i am simply getting used to my new surroundings and it can be a little scary and frustrating. i guess i dont have the security and comfort of home. i have been really sick, but having to rely only on myself, i have taken care of myself. lots of healthy food, fluids, and pain killers. and i am feeling much better today because of it. and also for Ramsey's wonderful rendition of ABC.
I am slowly getting used to the new and improved nikki and kristina. they have both grown and changed so much that my lame old jokes just dont cut it any more. We have some really great plans to see london in all its glory.
I have met up with some really great people. from all over the world. This city is full of sleazy guys, but there's also a big handful of some really nice, interesting guys who's thoughts are other than getting into my pants. i have done well to scare away the sleazy, usually married men, but really enjoying meeting new people so it's really quite touch and go (of course without the touching...its a metaphore) you meet some nice people, you meet some horny pricks. you just sort it out as you go. the funny thing is tho, there are no nice females in this city. seriously. none. i'm more likely to cop a punch in the face from a chick than from any guy here. so i'm sticking to my sorting process. nikki has informed me of the situation with the guys and girls here. and it seems to be working.
Well, we're off to camden this weekend, and me n kris are catching a movie tomorrow night. bring me back to reality for a while. We have yet to go to the london eye, or big ben and all the rest so i'm really looking forward to doing these touristy things. It has been a massive culture shock and a huge adaption, but i'm working it!
i love you all. please have good thoughts of me here, because it really is good. i wish i could drag all of you over here just to show you!
love much.
ashinlondon. x

I'm So Sick

Day three, and i'm sick as a dog. I have the flu i think. cos you generally don't get a fever with just a cold. it is bloody awful. i wanna come home to my mum!!!!!
I'm so exhausted i'm struggling to get to the bathroom. and its london, really shit, cold weather today and i'm sweating. My back and neck are completely screwed from the couch cushions i have been sleeping on on the floor in our flat. and my legs are killing me from all the walking i've been doing.
yesterday all we did was go to pubs and drink. i've done that for two days and i am soooo over it. i didn't come here to get drunk like most people do, i came here for experience and opportunity. no more drinking, no more 5am bed times (long story - not happy) and i'm gonna sort my shit out. i know its only day three, but i'm not satisfied with this. i need more. i didn't pay this amount of money to waste it on booze.
well, for today i have no choice. i missed my job interview because of last night, and incidentally i am seriously ill. this isn't just a head cold.
will someone come bring me some chicken and corn soup, and some intense pain killers?
love you all.
ashinlondon. x

Quick Update

i know i just posted a blog before, but i thought my laptop would die before i got to finish it, so i'm just writing some other stuff while i'm waiting to nik to finish work.
We went to tower bridge last night. that was when it hit me. i'm in london! it's about a 10 minute walk from where we are living. then me n nik walked along the river Thames. absolutely gorgeous. there's two people i would love to walk along the Thames with, mum and nan. cos i know they would so appreciate it. not that anyone else wouldn't, but i could think of nothing better. i would love to bring nanna here. it's so her in every way (a hint for a gift from the family??? if i could buy my plane ticket, the whole family can).
I'm not overly worried about work at the moment. i'm still settling in. very overwhelming. nikki's work is looking for people so i might pick up a little work at the pub.
at kris's work, the staff are great and i've already become a regular - free wireless internet, and i love my coffee, even though london coffee is gross and bitter. the italian, slightly retarded chef at kris's work is in love with me. he says i'm fit and buff (slang for attractive and very attractive, respectively) but not to worry, i'm soaking it up for free food! the girls think its hysterical.
well, i'm sitting in a cafe, having a coffee and i look out the window and there's a big red double decker bus! where else huh?
wrapping it up again. i have to work out how to put pics on this blog.
love u all very much, i'm staying safe, loyal, and enthusiastic.
ashinlondon. x

My Arrival in London

Firstly, i want to thank you all for your support in my endeavour to head off over seas. it has been dramatic, emotional and very scary, however i have found the strength to do it, all thanks to everyone's support. i love you all very much.
The plane flight was ok. i'm not going to dwell over the flight cos that's just boring. but i slept for half of it (thanks for the pills, mum!). the flight from melb. to sydney was fab, i had no one next to me! i got lost at syndey airport, but found my way. the plane from syd to bangkok was packed. so no chance of getting spare seats. but even though i was panicing about who i was going to sit next to, i had such a good time with everyone on the plane. so many cultures. i met a lovely girl from spain, and an old lady from north england. it was great to interact and absorb the mix of cultures. that is ultimately why people go to europe. so that was great. no one snored, smelled, or chatted unwantedly. it was a tight squeeze! but i hardly noticed the people next to me.
I arrived at London airport at 6am. waiting in customs for about an hour, then dragged my enormous suitcase out to the entrance of the airport. Kris and Nik were waiting for me happily. i cried when i saw them. very emotional, but such a great feeling. We caught the tube into london, during peak hour, so it was hysterical getting out of the train at our station with all my baggage! but we managed. we walked the 15 minutes from tower bridge station to out place. everything is a stone throw away! our place is in a complex building. a bright green door above a halal meat store, which has been shut down. up two flights of stairs that feels like they're gonna snap beneath you. and into out little hut. one bedroom, smaller than my bedroom at home, with a mini bathroom, with a broken shower - we shower across the road at kris's work. there's an pakistani family living below us and the little girl (about 4) plays on the stairs. the flat directly beneath us houses a london amateur DJ who plays his music with a subwoofer very loud, all night (till about 3am) and has regular rendevous with lovely ladies (london scum crack whores).
But other than that, i am having such a blast! i can't even explain how amazing it is here, you'd have to be here to believe it! Its the one place in the world where all cutures come together. where else in the world can you get french, australian, british, german, polish, german, spanish, etc etc all in the one place? that's why i'm loving the hostel pubs. so many people from everywhere, the world is so huge, why are you still sitting in your living room???
where else do you see bmw's, mercedes, porches, aston martins, and ferraris left right and centre? london baby! its quite a segregation. a lot of homelessness. you're either rich or poor here. The homeless sit on corners with pets to draw you in. Last night we went out for dinner at kris's work. the food was good and reaosnably priced. me n nik wondered the streets of london - she knew where she was going. we stopped at some awesome bars and met some great people from all over the world. we had a few drinks and ended up back at kris's work. the people are lovely. a man, mid 30's, who is mates with kristinas latest love interest, politely introduced himself to me, forgetting to wipe the left over cocain from him nose. me n nik had a quiet laugh. drugs are everywhere here, but you turn a blind eye and you dont notice it. As we were sitting having a drink, a man walks into the bar with a dog and a snake around the brim of his hat. yes. a snake. a real, live, MOVING snake.
From the minute i got here, i have had an awesome time. we're living on the chapel street equivalent, only better, with an amazing cuture everywhere. me n the girls are so excited to go everywhere and see everything.
if i could give a gift to everyone, it would be to bring you all here! london is so full of experience and opportunity, you are bound to find yourself here.
i'll wrap it up here, but if you wanna see some photos of my trip so far, just go to www.myspace.com/azzamossi and click on the profile pic to view the pictures in the london album.
i miss you all and i'm having a blast. i'll keep you all up to date of my travells!
take care.
ashinlondon. x